Signs you are NOT ready for Couples Counseling (Yet!)
Couples counseling can be a game-changer, helping partners build stronger connections and work through challenges together. But let's be real—not everyone is ready to dive into the deep end of relationship introspection just yet. If you find yourself nodding along to any of the points below, it might be a sign you need a little more time (or a lot more coffee) before taking the plunge.
1. You Want the Counselor to "Fix" Your Partner
If you’re walking into counseling with the mindset that your partner is the problem and you're just there to observe, hold up. The Gottman Couples Method emphasizes personal accountability and shared responsibility. If you're not ready to examine your own contributions to the relationship dynamic, counseling might not be the magic wand you're hoping for.
2. You're Not Willing to Do the Homework
Couples counseling often includes take-home exercises designed to build better communication and emotional connection. If your idea of homework is binge-watching your favorite show while avoiding tough conversations, you might not be in the right mindset just yet.
3. You Expect Instant Results
If you believe that one or two sessions will transform your relationship overnight, think again. Growth takes time, and the Gottman approach focuses on building lasting changes through small, intentional steps. A little patience (and maybe a lot of hard work) goes a long way.
4. You'd Rather Win Than Heal
If every disagreement turns into a battle you just have to win, counseling might feel more like a competition than a place for healing. Remember, healthy relationships thrive on understanding, not keeping score. As Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
5. You're Keeping Secrets
Transparency is key in couples counseling. If you’re holding back major details or struggling to be honest about your feelings, it might be worth reflecting on what’s keeping you from fully showing up in the process.
6. You Haven't Prayed About It
Inviting God into your relationship challenges can provide clarity and wisdom. If you haven’t taken time to pray about your readiness for counseling, it might be beneficial to seek spiritual guidance first. After all, Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us that "a cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
7. You're Not Open to Change
If the idea of changing your habits, communication style, or perspective feels like too much to handle, it might be worth working on personal growth first. Counseling works best when both partners are open to learning and evolving.
8. You're Doing It to Check a Box
If the only reason you’re considering couples counseling is to say you tried, it might be worth waiting until you're truly invested in the process. A half-hearted effort usually leads to half-hearted results.
Couples counseling is a powerful tool, but timing and readiness matter. If any of these points hit home, take heart—relationships are a journey, and there’s no rush. Take time to reflect, pray, and prepare your heart before stepping into the process.
When you're truly ready, you'll be in a better place to make the most of it!
